


everything feels so different now

by thelemonisinplay



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Awkward Conversations, Friendship, Gen, Jealousy, M/M, Marauders, boys being ridiculous
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-10-26
Updated: 2013-10-26
Packaged: 2017-12-30 13:48:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 929
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1019361
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thelemonisinplay/pseuds/thelemonisinplay
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>James is so used to being number one when it comes to Sirius, that the change is a little bit jarring.</p>
            </blockquote>





	everything feels so different now

**Author's Note:**

> I found this lurking in my drafts on tumblr and thought I probably ought to do something with it, so ... here it is.

James didn't like it, not really.

He had when he'd found out, he'd thought it was brilliant and wonderful and amazing that two of his best friends were making each other so happy. Especially as they desperately needed happiness, given that the both of them were so often prone to melancholy.

And in the beginning, those soft, slightly sappy smiles he sometimes caught Sirius sending to Remus had caused tiny, secret grins to cross James’s face, like their joy was somehow contagious.

But somewhere along the line, that little smile that was constantly on Remus’s face - a smile Remus fought, if rather ineffectively, when he was losing points for his failure to hand in his charms essay - stopped being a cause for happiness and became ... something else. 

James had thought, at first, that it was just him getting used to it, that the relationship had become something normal to him, rather than something shiny and new in its wondrousness. 

Nobody else seemed any less excited about it, though. Peter was still light-heartedly teasing them and grinning. Lily and Helena still told them how adorable they were. Mary was still asking them for tips on how to ask out a friend.

And when James found himself scowling down at his potatoes at the sight of the pair of them sneaking out of the Great Hall hand-in-hand midway through lunch, he supposed there was a problem.

It wasn't something he wanted to think about, though. There were all sorts of alarming possibilities that might present themselves if he thought about it, and they weren't things he wanted to consider at all. So he pushed the issue to the back of his mind, plastered a grin onto his face, and tried his best to act as though everything was fine.

It was a couple of weeks later that he found himself alone with Remus. Peter was in detention, and - well, actually, James wasn't entirely sure where Sirius was. But Remus was sat next to him on their favourite sofa, working on something. And James felt oddly awkward. He wanted to say something, but for the first time in living memory, he couldn't work out what.

Eventually, after enduring James glancing quickly over before turning his head and pretending to stare at Lily for far too long, Remus put down his quill.

"James," he said, quietly.

James turned to face Remus, slowly, an odd sense of apprehension filling him for reasons he couldn't quite understand.

"Moony," he said, a little too loudly, a little too easily.

"Are you okay?" Remus asked. There was a pause, in which James tried and failed several times to respond. "I mean. You’ve been a bit ... odd, lately."

Thoughts rushed through James’s head all at once: sarcastic responses; hints of things he'd pushed to the back of his mind - but no useful response presented itself.

"I’m - er, I’m fine, thanks," he said eventually. "How about you, are you okay?"

"I’m fine," Remus said, a slight frown crossing his face. "But - seriously, James, you're okay with me and Sirius, aren't you?"

And James didn't even really know the answer to that question, but he forced a grin onto his face, mustered up the most enthusiastic voice he could manage, and desperately hoped he sounded genuine.

"Yeah, of course I’m fine with it. You make each other happy. It’s brilliant. I don't think I’ve ever seen you or Sirius so happy, you know, so we're all really happy for you -"

"You’re still Sirius’s best friend, you know," Remus interrupted. And for a moment James just stared, but then all of a sudden it dawned on him.

 _Oh_.

"I know," said James, still speaking a little too fast, voice still unnaturally cheery. "Nothing’s changed, has it? You and Sirius are just -"

"We’re together, James. That doesn't mean we don't care about you anymore."

"Oh. Right," James said, not entirely aware of what he was saying, because all of a sudden things were beginning to make _sense_.

"Sirius isn't going to stop talking to you just because he and I are together. In fact, if you'd stopped to notice, it's really bothered him, how you've been so odd lately."

"Oh," James said, again. "Where is Sirius, actually?"

"Detention."

"Without me?"

And Remus just looked at him.

"Right. Yeah." James paused. "Well, I've spectacularly fucked all this up, haven't I?"

Remus raised an eyebrow, an amused sort of look on his face, and opened his mouth as though to speak, but James continued.

"God, he's going to fucking hate me. 'Sorry I've been such a twat, Padfoot, I'm actually a first-year in disguise and I've been jealous that I'm not your favourite person anymore.'"

"I think your mum's still his favourite person, actually," Remus said, a serious tone to his voice, and James snorted with laughter.

"I don't think anyone can compete with my mum."

There was silence for a moment; a rather more comfortable silence than before.

"You will talk to him when he gets back, won't you?"

"Yeah," said James, throwing himself at the back of the sofa. "I suppose we're overdue a chat, anyway."

They looked at one another for a moment, until Remus nodded, evidently satisfied, and returned to his work.

"Erm. thanks, Remus," James said after a while. Remus looked up. "And sorry, for being such a dick about it all. I really am happy for you. Both of you."

Remus smiled. "Tell Sirius that, won't you?"

For the first time in far too long, James found himself flashing a genuine smile at his friend. "'Course I will."

 


End file.
